Just a twenty-something girl living in the corporate world

Have you experienced, dare I call it, corporate reverse ageism?

I’m sat with a friend at the counter of a ramen bar when she deadpans “I swear not to resent younger people when I’m 40.” It feels like this statement came out of nowhere and my smile is bordering on a giggle when I ask her why she’s thinking this out loud? She tells me how last week she wore a denim dress into the office. “So conservative in many ways, below the knee, tight though, zipped up all along the front with a little collar. A colleague in her 50s asked me in a particular tone if I had plans this evening. And I said yes I was going out for dinner. But I wasn’t. I was just going home. I’d just got this new dress and was really excited to wear it. Literally just to look nice in the office. I had to lie because I was so embarrassed.” I laughed because she laughed, blushing and cringing as she relived the moment. But our conversation quickly became serious again when I mentioned I’d had a similar encounter that week. An exchange I couldn’t quite pinpoint until now.

I was visiting a broadcasting house for work and had been taken up in the lift by an assistant. Waiting outside the studio door, we stood facing each other, both with our backs against the walls of the surprisingly narrow corridor - only I found her staring down at my feet, in their leopard print ballet flats, sock-less. After a silence not long enough to be fully awkward she said on an exhale, “nice feet.” I found it so odd at the time and a swell of unidentifiable emotions swirled in my chest, something at the junction between pity and aggravation. I racked my brain for an appropriate response, because a ‘thank you’ wasn’t it, it wasn’t said as a compliment. I had to take external inspiration and so looked down at her shoes. They were also flat pumps. I thought us women in pumps had to stick together? We’ve already been hurt and betrayed by the shoe that promises to be fashionable and comfortable, but never really are the latter. Flash forward to the ramen bar and it’s only then I identify a jealous tone. Jealousy? Resentment? A touch of nostalgia? I’m reminded of the severely damning, politically incorrect comment a friend’s mother made after her daughter went on a run and was catcalled and honked at by a passing van. “You’ll miss it one day.”

Ageism is a sinister, life-ruining, mentally murderous system and one that we hear a lot about in commercial careers such as showbiz and the beauty industry (eh-hem, The Substance). But in the corporate space? Reverse ageism feels rife. Needless to say it’s hard being a young person trying to land a job in this climate, let alone feeling subtly discriminated against once you have a foot in the door and a hand just about clutching the corporate ladder. I spoke with someone recently who told me of an older colleague who infantilised their younger colleagues, comparing them to familial kids whose parties they were forced to attend when celebrating their career successes.

That’s not to say older women aren’t also treated poorly in office-based jobs by those in more senior positions. A distant story I heard via a friend of a friend springs to mind of a boss who was hesitant to promote someone as they were at an age where the “might get pregnant soon”. Sadly whether ageism moves forwards or backwards, it will always take women as its primary victim.

There’s always discourse on governmental plans to support young people, to create jobs and get them in those roles, but how are we really treating them once they’re on the inside? I’ve seen countless TikToks of older generations slating Gen-Z for their laziness and lack of work ethic. Back in March, The Daily Mail ran the headline: ‘Gen Z think they can do nothing and get benefits - bring back National Service': Pensioners slam 'lazy and entitled' work-shy youngsters who moan they can't get jobs because Covid left them without social skills.’ And two years ago, the BBC published a piece titled: “Are younger generations truly weaker than older ones?” which essentially concluded that our standards change in line with our socio-cultural context, which of course is always shifting.

Do I blame older generations? Do I blame the older women in the stories I’ve just told? Not really. No. Maybe not at all. As women we are all in one way or another, victim to the same structure that capitalises off our insecurities, and grows more monstrously powerful by ensuring we don’t only hate ourselves, but each other too. I don’t have an answer on how to progress and break through this. All I know is that we must, and this is a note to self, be honest, direct and kind. Don’t let resentment bubble in your chest and eat you alive, or worse, spurt out at someone who is probably on your side. Direct that anger at the system. To the person in front of you, try paying a compliment instead -